The Replacements

"Toto, we aren't in Kansas anymore"

Ya, I know. It's not glamorous.

I had to borrow a lineman's pads and helmet. An injured safety's jersey. And the coaches wrist playbook. My linemen (#67 and #74) don't speak ANY English. The field is 60yds long. There are only 8 players on each side of the ball. My best receiver is deaf. Most of the referees have never actually been to a real American football game. Most of the players wear their kipas (yarmulkes) underneath their helmet. And games are never played between Friday sunset and Saturday sunset (due to the Sabbath). But you know what? It was some of the most fun I've ever had playing football.

I had heard that Israel was trying to get an American Football League off the ground, but I didn't think too much of it leading up to our move overseas. Then when we were doing our embassy check-in here, one of the folks in the shipping office asked if I wanted to play for his local team. "I heard you've played some quarterback before. Our record isn't very good, but we have the best offensive line in the league. We just need a quarterback. We've already played 7 of our 10 games this year, but today is the last day we can register new players. Would you like to come play for an underdog?" My brain is still upside down from jetlag and the onslaught that is the Hebrew language. We have no car, no household goods, and I hadn't even gotten internet or a cell phone setup yet. "Oh, what the hell. Why not coach? When's our first game?" "This weekend", he replied... It sounded like a perfect "Olmsted Experience". Right on the edge of your comfort zone, and completely in a foreign language/culture.

We lost both of our last two games, but at least, neither of our opposing teams had any idea what hit them. They had never seen an American style dropback passing quarterback before, but then again our receivers had never caught from one either. I didn't care, it's not about the winning. My wife on the other hand (who is as big or more of a football fan than me), nearly ran on the field to yell at my receivers for dropping so many passes. (She reminded me of an adult version of the coaches daughter in Remember the Titans).

Welp. I've agreed to coach (and play) for them next year, as long as I get to design and implement a real West Coast Offense. While it's illegal here, there are rumors that other teams will try to bribe "the American quarterback" to come play for them. I already love this team. It feels exactly like the movie Replacements and I wouldn't have it any other way. And at the end of the day, what better way to improve your language and immersion, than doing something you love, with good people around you.

Here's a couple quick clips from our last two games.
Petah Tikva Troopers (us in Green) against the Haifa Underdogs (in Haifa)

Petah Tikva Troppers against the Jerusalem Lions (in Jerusalem)

Off-duty IDF Soldier on the sidelines with his team for the game

"How are we doing?"

Since we got the news that we would be studying in Tel Aviv, we had heard nothing but the most rave reviews about Tel Aviv. About it's modernity, cleanliness, overall European/Miami-esque feel, etc. To be blunt, this is not the impression we've had thus far, but we're beginning to understand and appreciate it for what it is. As much as it wants to be otherwise, Israel is a Middle Eastern country dressed in Western clothing. When compared to any country within a thousand miles, Israel is downright America. When compared to Western Europe, it is still very much the middle east.

And herein lies one of Israel's major social and cultural paradoxes:
"A local journalist, Ammon Dankner, wrote of an alternate world where 'Shimon Peres’s innovative technological project causes Israel to detach from the Middle East and sail westward through the Mediterranean Sea, like a sort of floating island. Laughter aside, Dankner nailed the spirit of the time. In recent years Israel has been feeling, thinking and behaving as though it is no longer located in West Asia and can exist as an island that has broken off from it. As if there was no Arab world, no Palestine, no Iran. No Arabs, no settlers, no occupation....Rockets arrive from Gaza in the morning and venture capital [$475M from Accel Partners both on the day President Obama arrived] from London in the afternoon. Israel’s ability to live as if it were disconnected from the rest of the region is impressive and necessary. It’s also illusory and dangerous." - Full Article by Thomas Friedman - March 23, 2013 - https://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/24/opinion/sunday/friedman-israel-bits-bytes-and-bombs.html?_r=0 

Without fail, nearly every time we meet new friends, their first question is "How do you like Israel so far?" But their question is really one of validation: "How are we doing?". America is the only country in the world that Israel looks up to (and the only one who can truly prod them to do anything they don't want to). In many ways, America is a young country (237 years old), but when you look at Israel (at 65 years), they're downright puppies. And sometimes they act like it. It's not a condemnation, rather an often over-looked observation. And when you realize just how young their country is, I think it provides perspective and context not just to their international behavior but also to their need for US approval and validation.

Initial Impressions

Bilbo Baggins: "Gandalf, can you guarantee that I will come back?"
Gandalf: "No, and if you do, I promise you will never be the same"
 - The Hobbit

That's about the best I can summarize our expectations in the days leading up to our departure. A whole lot of uncertainty with only a couple sureties:

1) This would be a wild and crazy adventure.
2) Whatever happened over the next two years, good or bad, would leave us forever changed

As a quick background, though you may already be familiar with this program, the Olmsted Scholarship Foundation's goal is: "To provide outstanding young military leaders an unsurpassed opportunity to achieve fluency in a foreign language, pursue graduate study at an overseas university, and acquire an in depth understanding of foreign cultures, thereby further equipping them to serve in positions of great responsibility as senior leaders in the United States Armed Forces". In a nutshell, it's the greatest opportunity that seemingly no one really knows about. Study abroad for a couple years, gain fluency (although I'm quickly scaling back my use of this word), travel like crazy with your family and get paid to do it. The foundation staff and scholars we've met thus far have been absolutely incredible. It is truly the 2nd best fraternity in the military, following closely behind my original community.

So, we landed in Tel Aviv on Shabbat (our first exposure to the shutdown that overtakes this country from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday). Knowing United Airlines, it wouldn't shock me if they secretly planned for us to spend four hours on the tarmac prior to the 11 hour flight from Newark, but the jokes on them. I slept the whole flight thanks to modern narcotics. Poor Brittany was stuck with whatever pregnancy-safe medications we could find, which was basically just Benedryl. Once we touched down, Stew and Elizabeth Welch, the scholars that preceded us here in TA picked us up and dropped us off in our wonderful apartment. We are up near the top of a high rise with a balcony overlooking the Med and a couple extra bedrooms for guests (hint hint) or surprise babies.

Its a good thing United didn't charge us for the 8 bags weighing 70lbs apiece

Our first breakfast on the balcony

View from the balcony facing west toward the Mediterranean

The first 7-10 days were honestly miserable. We had just enough check-in stuff with the embassy that we had to wake up periodically, but not enough that would force us to stay awake to keep the jet lag at bay. 30 minute catnaps nearly always turned into 6-7 hour sleeps, and we paid for it. To add insult to injury, we went the first week without any internet (ghasp). I know, it was a soberingly painful withdrawal while we got our cell phones set up. I don't laugh as hard now when I read CNN articles about internet addictions. I don't know how anyone moved overseas before smartphones. Without my Google translate app, SIRI's pronunciation slaughter of Hebrew road names during GPS directions, TripAdvisor restaurant recommendations, and Amazons deadly "1-Click Buy" (arrives tax/shipping free in our mailbox in 5-6 days), I'd have probably packed up and gone home. Thank the Lord I wasn't born 40 years ago. I would have been the weakest link for sure.

I'll explain it more in the next post, but we also have struggled initially with some misplaced expectations about Tel Aviv itself. Some of it is justified, but most of it, we are quickly learning, is the error of placing American ideas and viewpoints on a place that looks and acts very American sometimes, but in many ways, is absolutely not. Anyway, more on that later.

Shalom,

Garrett

Shalom and Merry Christmas. Brittany and I will be moving to Tel Aviv, Israel, shortly, and this site is where we will be blogging while we are abroad. Please check back as often as you like and always feel free to email us whenever you want.